AT PEACE?

My thoughts have always bewildered me, haunting me even in my sleep, bombarding me with questions like "Will you still be happy now even if it is at the expense of other people's happiness?" Another thought is the not so unpopular question, with whom do you prefer to be with, he one you love or the one who loves you? (Of course if you choose the first one the inquisitor would judge you as a self scarificing, selfless being; on the other hand choosing the second qould bring them to the conclusion that you are selfish -- clearly a no-win situation). Being true to my natural selfish ego, I'd dwell on the first. Then comes another question, "What if the one who loves you, has an importance of your life? Are you willing to see her get hurt in the process?

In situations like this, it would be just an ease to lock yourself in your closet and let lose a scream. Yes, a scream... just to break the density of the sound waves thickly clutting around you. As I always say, silence can be deafening at times.

Lately my melancholy has been outweighed by my positive attitude towards things, contented in the absence of my wants and ecstatic in their presence, but what is all this? Perhaps an encore of my cynicality?